Announcements to the Irken Armada

Transmission: [Encrypted]

Originator: Invader Stick

PAK Code: 061<scrambled>42

Subject: Announcements

To the Mighty and Awesome Irken Armada:

The following are announcements of interest I have been instructed to disseminate amongst the entire Irken Armada. They were originally supposed to be transmitted by a different Irken, but that individual cut in front of me in the lunch line and I was forced to throw him into a vat of hot grease to teach him a lesson. Therefore, I have been assigned to transmit the announcements until the line-cutter recovers from his burns.

The announcements of interest for the Irken Armada are as follows:

  1. All Megadoomer orders are hereby cancelled until further notice, due to complaints of various power issues and glitches in the robot’s cloaking ability. No refunds will be issued. Those who insist on receiving a refund are directed to jump into a pit of molten lava.

  2. Shloogorgh’s Flavor Monster restaurant on Planet Foodcourtia is now accepting applications for Food Service Drone positions. Those seeking employment at Shloogorgh’s are urged to apply immediately, as positions are expected to fill up fast. A 20% bonus is offered for those willing to work during the next Great Foodening.

  3. To the owner of the blue and gold Voot Cruiser that is parked illegally in front of the snack stand on Planet Conventia: You have eight minutes to move your vehicle before it is exploded, and your own innards are disemboweled. HURRY UP AND MOVE IT, FILTHY SNACK BLOCKER!

  4. All Irkens are reminded that engaging in acts of friendship with lesser species is strictly forbidden, unless it is part of a sanctioned Invader mission. Further violations of this directive will result in re-assignment to Planet Dirt.

  5. The new season of “Ultimate Survivor: Planet Blorch Edition” will begin airing next week at 8:00PM.

  6. Invaders assigned to Operation <transmission scrambled> are urged to don your protective plastic outerwear and meet at Planet <transmission scrambled> for enhanced training. Failure to complete the training will result in instant banishment to Planet Hurtia.

That is all of the announcements of interest for this week. Praise be to the Almighty Tallest and the Magnificent Irken Armada! Invader Stick, out.

[Encrypted Transmission Ended]

Transmission from Invader Stick

Transmission: [Encrypted]

Originator: Invader Stick

PAK Code: 061<scrambled>42

Subject: Filthy “Romances”

To the Mighty Irken Armada and any “hyuuumans” that may be viewing this transmission (wait a second, hyuuumans aren’t supposed to be in this network…GET OUT!):

At the behest of the Almighty Tallest, I, Invader Stick, have been commissioned to write about various PUNY issues and topics that may be of interest to the Glorious Irken Armada as punishment for the “Galley Filthening Incident” that occurred aboard the Massive. I am not proud of what I did, and I deeply apologize to those who were affected by it. The Tallest have shown great mercy in assigning me this completely awesome and not at all demeaning task instead of sending me to the bowels of Planet Dirt to battle the giant “Dust Monkey Robot Monster” that has recently taken up residence there. Praise be to The Almighty Tallest!

Recently, there have been some rumblings amongst you about the possibilities of what the “hyuuumans” call “romance.” Such a word is foreign and itchy to the majestic Irken Culture, and this word has no doubt caused all of you to roll around in a pile of radioactive Forgon excrement that has mutated the brainworms already infesting your pathetic head cavities. If this is indeed the case, I urge those of you affected to get the worms removed promptly, perhaps by jettisoning yourselves into the nearest star so as to prevent contaminating the rest of us.

Some of the most disturbing rumors have concerned a romance between the hyuuuman female known as “Gaz” and the Irken “Invader” known as Zim. Let me assure you all that no such romance would EVER occur; we Irkens have no need for “affection,” unless of course by “affection” you mean “Wanton destruction and terror.” The very notion that an Irken, even one as loathsome and idiotic as ZIM, would ever give a PUNY hyuuuman a box of filthy chocolates or hold hands with them without full-body protection so as not to contract “cootees,” is simply INSANE. Those of you suggesting such things are ordered to throw yourselves into the nearest bottomless pit…NOW!

Some of you have even whispered about Zim having a romance with his malfunctioning SIR, or as he calls it, “GIR” unit. Are you serious? The SIR units are weapons of awesome destruction that also serve to keep foodstuffs hot and/or cold. To suggest that one would be used to fill some non-existent void of “love” should be grounds for treason! MARCH YOURSELVES TO THE NEAREST TEST FIRING RANGE! On second thought, DON’T, as you’ll probably believe that the lasers are just trying to hug you, thus making the experience less terrifying for you and less entertaining for me.

I could go on and on with the disgusting possibilities…Zim and Tak romances? What sort of madness is this?! The closest thing to an Irken “mating ritual” is the “Great Smeet Stomping,” which as you know involves the act of many Irkens applying their boots to thousands of smeets in an attempt to see which ones are worthy enough to continue their pathetic, useless life cycles. Does this sound “romantic” to you? If you answered, “yes,” disregard my previous non-order about the lasers. They DO want to hug you. Really.

Perhaps the most loathsome “romance” that has been discussed is one between Zim and Dib. Zim and Dib are ENEMIES! Since when do Irkens “make nice” with their enemies?! I suppose that if we offered to take the Slaughtering Rat People of Planet Blorch out to a movie, they would no longer want to eat our faces in a slow and painful manner, right? I encourage anyone who thinks this would work to try it, and then report back to me with your findings…which will most likely be in sign language, as I do not expect you to return with a head. The Irken people pride ourselves on our ability to squish those who oppose us, like tiny little bugs made of putty and goo. PUTTY AND
GOO, I SAY! Zim may be a moron, but he still possesses the overzealous desire
to crush mankind; because of this, a “romance” with the big-headed Dib child is
simply too ridiculous to fathom.

Hyuuumans, and all other non-Irken life forms, are trash and filth that are only useful for cleaning the sludge pits of Sludgetopia 9 and, on occasion, delivering packages in a speedy and convenient manner. An Irken Invader, even one who isn’t actually an Invader but is delusional enough to THINK he is, would NEVER lower himself to such a disgusting level by engaging in acts of “love.” AH, the word itself is causing my squeedly spooch to vibrate in a most unpleasant manner! UNPLEASANT, I TELL YOU!

It is all too much to continue thinking about. I must now attend to other matters that do not involve envisioning the destruction of you all…just of some of you. Invader Stick, out.

[Encrypted Transmission Ended]

Updates Coming to Soapy Waffles

Greetings! Tallest Rose here! I hope you all are well!

Brain worms... going... to mush...

These days, things couldn’t be busier. It was just two months ago that I walked away from a school podium, a newly celebrated Highschool graduate. Now I’m pushing forward full steam ahead towards college, which starts in exactly one month from today. I couldn’t be more excited about it, even with all of the work involved!

Despite this, I still have (and always will) invest every spare moment I have into the production of the Invader Zim episode Mopiness of Doom. And then second to that, I’ve put in much time into organizing and operating the entire SW organization. It’s tough work, but it’s a lot of fun!

Well, after boring you with a bunch of stuff about me, continue on below to read about some updates and cool stuff coming to SW!

First of all, we have two new blog authors for the SW blog! Please welcome “Invader Stick” and “Invdrdana”! They are two wonderful writers, and they will be posting periodic articles about various topics of the Invader Zim world. Later today, Stick will be posting an interesting article he composed concerning the topic of Invader Zim pairings. I hope the post will delight, horrify, and disturbingly entertain you.

Next up, I have an exciting bit of news. I can’t say too much right now, but we will be hosting yet another art contest! Stay tuned for more details and information about this contest in the VERY near future! Meanwhile, better start sharpening those pencils!

Another little update is the Facebook page. I have started adding artwork created by our SW forum members to its photo album. Please see this forum post for more information.

Lastly, because everyone’s been asking for it, I’ve begun work on a tutorial for how to draw Invader Zim characters. I hope my methods for learning the Invader Zim (Jhonen) style will assist you all on your noble quest to draw endless pictures of Gir munching on cupcakes. As if Hot Topic hasn’t already given us our fill of all things Gir. Anyways, when the tutorial is complete, it will be released in our SW deviantart group! Keep an eye out for it in the following weeks!

There will be other miscellaneous updates made to Soapy Waffles, such as group appearances, graphics, and other small stuff. But you’ll have to discover those updates for yourself. Just think of it as a fun game of ‘Find-It’!

Well, that’s all I have for now. If I come across any other major updates that I forgot to include in this post, I’ll be sure to update this blog article. Thank you for reading!

Tallest Rose, signing off!

Mopiness of Doom: Progress report!

So, what have we accomplished on this episode’s production this month? Read on if you’re curious!

Tallest Sarah is busy at work on the final animation for scene two (the Membrane kitchen scene). All of its backgrounds were completed at the end of last month by Tallest Rose, so the animation work is all that is left to do for that scene. Meanwhile, Tallest Rose recently completed most of the backgrounds needed for the following scene – the Skool cafeteria scene. One of the backgrounds is not yet complete because Rose assigned the last background to a new background artist ‘in training’. With that large job accomplished, Rose is now working on the fully detailed animation for the animatic.

Finally, here is our plans for the next month! We are currently planning to release a small teaser trailer for the episode Mopiness of Doom. Rose is planning out the teaser’s content, and will proceed to begin piecing the video clips together for the video. This particular thing might take a bit of time to do, because we want to make sure we do a good job with it, but we hope you can bear with us just a little longer!  (Waiting is really hard, I know!) And secondly for our plans, we hope to have the crafts section of our website fully operational and working properly. Soon after this blog post, I’ll be posting a special complete walkthrough (thanks to Tallest Sarah) for how to make your very own Pak!

Well, that’s all we have to tell you guys for now. Can’t wait to show you guys what we’ve done in the next progress report! 🙂

-Tallest Rose

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